Daddy Deployed

So yesterday morning was a bit hectic and traumatizing.  We dropped Zack off at base.  He deployed to Qatar.  The girls were emotional roller coasters from then on.  Remi cried most of the way home and Tate was freaked out because Remi was so visibly upset. 

Tate kept bouncing between asking to go get daddy and telling Remi she was okay.  I just tried to zone it all out and concentrate on a SafeLite appointment we had to get back home for.  The chip in my window got fixed but the chip in my heart just got bigger as the day went on.  Watching the girls deal with the reality of daddy being away for the next six months was harder than I thought. 

Remi is old enough now that she understands what is means for daddy to deploy and has enough understanding of time that six months is "forever" in her eyes.  Poor Tate just knows daddy is gone, Remi is upset and mommy is irritable.  She doesn't fully get it yet but knows it isn't good because of how we are behaving. 

We spent the day completely vegging out, watching TV, and playing in the craft room.  The day went so quickly.  The emotions washing over us all in waves. 

Bed time rolled around and all I did was tell the girls it was time to go to bed.  Their emotional day of ups and downs had so thoroughly worn them out they didn't argue or fight it at all as they usually would, in fact they both got up from their spots in the craft room, asked for hugs and kisses and for me to tuck them in and promptly went to bed.  I about cried.

I always thought it would get easier the more times we send Zack on deployment, short tours, and TDYs but frankly it has gotten so much harder.  As the girls understand more and more of what daddy does and what it means when he is away it becomes tougher to do so.

It definitely is a challenge to stay up beat when the girls are so unhappy.    It is just for six months, the girls and I can manage that even if we don't want to have to.  Six months of birthdays, holidays and milestones that I will do my best to document and share for daddy's sake.  We don't want him to miss anything while he is gone.