So last weekend we all went to the beach. It was a wonderful fun family activity that we now do as often as we can and yes I actually own a rather cute bathing suit.
I am not so vain that I can't and won't strut my fat self on the beach. I am quite happy beaching myself and spending the day lazily playing with the kiddos and lounging under a beach umbrella with some water and something to crochet.
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| Daddy hooking Remi's boogie board to her. |
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| Tate trying to tell Remi what to do. |
This beach day was no do different except that this time Zack managed to snap some pics of me. I do try to limit my camera exposure since I am never happy with how the pics come out and I am not a very photogenic person. Fat face syndrome...is how I think of it...or more appropriately round face syndrome, since I have a round face with a rather flat profile and unless pictured right just looks sooo wrong.
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| Remi moving off into deeper water. |
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| Me trying to get Tate back into the water after getting it in her eyes. |
Okay, admittedly, this first pic where you can only see my fat backside isn't so bad, but Lord!, the others only made me painfully aware of how much weight I am STILL struggling to lose. Thank you children. Thank you crappy genetics, age, and my STUPID screwed up right knee that make it hard to do. I can't believe that after more than six months of sweating buckets, painfully aware of how much and everything I ate, and making myself a bitch to P90X and my treadmill that I managed to lose only three pounds and screw up my knee. BOOO! So irritated about this since I know that had this been before thirty, kids and my knee I would be rocking the beach right now. Exercise and getting back into shape was so much easier in my early twenties. Damn!, what happened.
So my poor P90X and treadmill have sat unused for the last month and a half now due to my crunchy, painful, popping, no squatting right knee. I have started taking OLD LADY pills, as Zack likes to say. Joint supplements which seem to be helping quite a bit. So now my only problem is convincing Tate to give me the time to work out and get my motivation and willpower back on track and give it another go.
Oh! Boy do these pics put a fire under my horrifically flabby belly, ass, thighs, arms (eeew, gross. Fat arms and bulgy bellies really gross me out, especially being that they are mine.), and face.
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| *Thinking positive thoughts* What the crap, that so doesn't help. |
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| AHHHHH! This pic is just so painful...LOL! |
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| That's better, put some distance between me and the camera. |
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| Ugh! Where is my treadmill. |
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| Well, on a happy note. It was a great day even if my swimsuit was being mauled by a fat chick. |
Thanks Zack for unintentionally making me PAINFULLY AWARE of how my poor, cute swimsuit is suffering being displayed on my wretched out of shape self and reminding me to just keep at it. Oh, and you, my bum knee. SUCK IT UP! We got work to do.
This of course won't stop me from strutting my stuff all over Florida beaches....watch out whales, I claim this space. I just hope that next summer I won't be competing with Shamu.
4 comments:
You are too hard on yourself. I know many women who are heavier than you after NO kids. We're always the biggest critics of ourselves.
And yes, that is an adorable swim suit!
How fun! Those girls are cute!
Thanks Jess for throwing out that it could be worse. Zack says I am too hard on myself as well. I just don't want to be unaware of where my body is at and compound my situation.
Izzabetta Thanks, they can be.
Shara!!!! You look good! I think it is good to be aware, so be aware that you are not what you were describing! I am glad that you are wearing a suit to the beach. I say enjoy it all you can. That was the attitude that I found when we moved so close to the beach. :) You are right about one thing, the older you get the harder it is. I am now at an age where my muscles start to deteriorate, especially if I don't use weights to help them. boo! Oh, and tell Zack that James takes those pills, and I am pretty sure he doesn't consider himself to be an old lady. lol Too bad you are not here and you could come to my class. :) Enjoy the beach and don't say such hard things to yourself about yourself. You will always believe them. Try to find the positive. Love you.
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